a night in the ER

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rows of emergency room teeth,

did chew and mend the broken, oh,

did chew and mend the broken men,

to spit us as one at night’s end;

two beds down white gowned warriors,

did pull a broken blade from he,

did pull a broken blade with glee,

to find he once again with breath;

.•

hunched beside my blue-lipped sister,

listing the ways that I did love,

listing the ways I never said,

to vomit-breathed deliberate death;

her little body did say no,

expelled the medicine cabinet,

expelled the cabinet that laughed,

a hundred dry-swallowed hiccups;

or maybe more I do now know,

how this bed supports the selfish,

how this selfishness now does sleep,

off selfless chaos underneath;

her little brow it should not know,

the pain equal to that man’s blade,

the pain that may as well have stabbed,

her through the nave to golden chops;

but I am not now two beds down,

my mind’s back here with mum’s baby,

my mind and mum’s baby’s are back,

to think and bleed as one foul knot;

tomorrow I will smell the smell,

of vomit that sticks to the stairs,

of vomit stuck fibres in hairs,

five showers hellishly failing;

and I will jump into the sea,

tomorrow, yes tomorrow me,

tomorrow, give up showering,

and scrub yellow shadow casting;

my head it dips below the waves,

I close my eyes and see the teeth,

I close my eyes but underneath,

those rows behind my eyelids reach;

the stained glass blue and broken beat,

will wash my skin eternally,

will wash the skin soap could not reach,

and curl the toes upon my feet;

I do not know I do not know,

If anyone else loves you so,

If anyone else knows the crows,

That circle round our rotten blood;

we share a sickened chemistry,

you and I both we live as one,

you and I both will die as one,

so don’t try to kill us again!

and though below slow crawling waves,

where I once heard the ocean’s hum,

where once found peace beneath the sun,

I now hear a dull monotone;

For those rows of yellowing lights,

twelve hours in a dial tone

and intra-venous metronomes,

have left the cold sea deafening.

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